Can I blog at Starbucks?

I'm capable.  I just don't know if I can do this with my dignity intact. You know. Without crying.

It's cold outside. I feel cold inside, too. I need to get away and take Libby. I want to go someplace warmer. Someplace greener. 

I need to warm my fingers. Maybe tan my toes. Mostly, though, I need to breathe a little easier so that I can learn to live again. 

I don't know why that sounds like it would be easier away from here. 

(To answer the question, no. I can't blog at Starbucks and not cry. Thankfully, I was saved embarrassment when the Rabbi arrived for our coffee klatch.)

Really, though. Away would not be easier than here. Away is just different. Different without you guys.  And you guys in person are important. (And you guys far away are equally important.)

Yesterday Amy D came and stayed all day (until it was time to pick up Lib). What a blessing! Then today was a card from Rae Lynn (far away). Tomorrow I've got Joslyn and Ali and the grad school crew. 

That helps. A lot. 

Your calls (even when it just goes to voicemail) and I hear your voice. Your texts and FB message letting me know you're thinking about me. Your cards in the mail. Showing up randomly on my doorstep. Your blog comments. 

Huge. 

They let me know I'm not alone. I don't have to run away. I am loved.