"To live without faith seems to me a hopeless, comfortless and pointless existence.
So I hold on, even when I don’t feel like it. This is how I have faith, not a feeling or an experience, but a decision. As Job said “though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.” I can’t imagine life without Jesus. Holding onto faith has been a struggle, but to live without it, is unthinkable.
You have a choice to make also. Faith is not something you lose, it’s something you choose or reject. I’m sorry to say that anyone who has lost a child has a very long and hard journey ahead of them. Grief is exhausting, messy, and misunderstood. Anger and confusion are normal and healthy (only if you get stuck there for an extended amount of time will you need to worry and seek medical help). If you have lost a child, be patient with yourself, you are in mourning. Do not rely on your feelings to decide what you believe. Look ahead – what kind of life do you want? Who do you want to be?"
I will always remember Katie as a person whose heart was full of faith and I think it would sadden her that her death made you lose yours. Church life/community was a big part of your lives, a family tradition. Sometimes we all rely on the "fake it until we make it" model. There is no shame in it. Whatever path your choose, I know it will be right for you. It must be so hard for you when your loved one is everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
I read this and thought of you:
ReplyDelete"To live without faith seems to me a hopeless, comfortless and pointless existence.
So I hold on, even when I don’t feel like it. This is how I have faith, not a feeling or an experience, but a decision. As Job said “though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.” I can’t imagine life without Jesus. Holding onto faith has been a struggle, but to live without it, is unthinkable.
You have a choice to make also. Faith is not something you lose, it’s something you choose or reject. I’m sorry to say that anyone who has lost a child has a very long and hard journey ahead of them. Grief is exhausting, messy, and misunderstood. Anger and confusion are normal and healthy (only if you get stuck there for an extended amount of time will you need to worry and seek medical help). If you have lost a child, be patient with yourself, you are in mourning. Do not rely on your feelings to decide what you believe. Look ahead – what kind of life do you want? Who do you want to be?"
I will always remember Katie as a person whose heart was full of faith and I think it would sadden her that her death made you lose yours. Church life/community was a big part of your lives, a family tradition. Sometimes we all rely on the "fake it until we make it" model. There is no shame in it. Whatever path your choose, I know it will be right for you. It must be so hard for you when your loved one is everywhere and nowhere at the same time.