Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, ...

How did you like the play?

My life is a shambles. My work is suffering. My mental health is suffering. My heart is suffering. 

"How are you?" 

Fine. Thank you. 

"It must be a hard time. I've been thinking about you."

Thank you. I'm surviving. 

But am I?

I've been deep down inside me. The is no "there" there. It's nothing. I have a hard time thinking about the future. Making a long term plan has as much meaning as what we are having for dinner tomorrow night. And I care about it just as much, which is to say, not in the least. 

I think I want to go away. Away seems like it would be a nice place. I might say anywhere but here. But I really don't care. Here is as good of a place as any.  

Inertia. Deceleration. Stopping. I could stop. It would be easy. 

I try to breathe in and out. I try to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I can't look up. There is no "there" there.