Struggling. Again.

I'm in a funk. I feel like everything is piled upon me again. I'm a rubber band that's been stretched too far. I've lost my snap. Okay, I've lost more than just my snap. 

It's hard to get out. I could just stay at the house (in the house?) all the time. I don't want to answer the phone. I don't want to read emails. Most text messages take too much energy to reply. 

Germany took a lot of my starch. Libby takes a lot of my energy. I'm turning 45 next week. I'm marking time since Katie's death. Still. Even I think that I should be better. And sometimes I am better. 

I'm just not better now. Not even close.