Grief has caused me a lot of issues, but the weirdest has to be hives. It's a histamine type reaction, and I don't want anything to be touching my body, not even my own skin. I can shower and put on hypoallergenic lotion, but it still continues. It's as if my body is trying to reject my skin or something.
This started at the beginning. I was cold, but I had a hard time dealing with some clothing, like bras. I wore hoodies and yoga pants and Smartwool socks. It's plagued me ever since. Yesterday and today I have a hard time wearing my Teva slip on sandles, the comfy ones. I can't touch a couch pillow because they're too rough. I don't want anything to touch me, but I can best tolerate soft cotton sheets. Naked, though, is not the answer (at least not the majority of the time. It's awkward to answer the door naked.
I take Benadryl, but it makes me sleepy. At least I don't have quite the impulse to tear open my skin. But if I scratch then I itch AND hurt. My skin feels raw.
At least my skin matches my heart. I feel raw inside and outside.
Would an oatmeal bath help? Or a cookie? (PS I'm still reading your blog!)
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