At Ikea I had a panic attack walking through the area where I would normally buy care package stuff for Katie. It continued throughout the store, barely under control. To get through to the checkout I had to pass through the Christmas stuff--Katie loved Christmas decorating. Then I was at my breaking point. I had to get out of there as quickly as possible. Sadly, I snapped at Libby while I was trying to get our stuff packaged. When we got back to the house, Libby and I headed up to our room for some quiet time. I wept some. Mainly, I just worked on my breathing and tried to center myself.
Now I'm back out at the Mall of America with Lib, MK, J and L. It's blackout riding at the amusement park. It's just dark, not dangerous. And I'm keeping it together so far.
So many memories jump out at me everywhere I go, even if I've never been there before.
And I'm tired.
Update: I did weep in the amusement park. It's hard not to weep.
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