If we can make it through...

I tell myself I we can make it through the year of firsts, it will get easier. Today is the first big day: her dad's birthday. Then in 3 weeks hers. Then Halloween which she loved.  Not a good month to start with. Next is November and Thanksgiving and Christmas decorating. Then the Holiday Cookie Exchange  and Christmas and then New Year's Eve. 

It will make you crazy if you try to start cataloging the number of traditions you have. Everything from Family Game Night to a new pair of PJs on Christmas Eve to watching old musicals or playing games with friends and finger foods for NYE. 

I never thought our silly off-the-cuff things could be so huge. 

It's Daddy's birthday today, though. It sucks that his is the first. A part of me is grateful beyond belief that I have another 8 months to prepare. Another part of me cries that I have to prepare at all. That Joe has to go first. That ANYONE or ANYTHING ha to have a first. And I want to scream about it. And flail. And cry. And let my hurting two-year-old self throw a temper tantrum about it. 

But what good would that accomplish? I'd scare Libby and my mom. And feel worse for doing that. 

So I'll just let it trickle out as tears.