Reflective

It feels like a reflective day. It's sunny and warm outside on the patio. It would be downright hot (for Wisconsin) if I weren't in the shade. It's a blue sky-puffy cloud day. 

It's a lake day. 

I've been contemplating going back to the lake Up North (which is always capitalized). I have such beautiful memories of the lake and summer and the girls. Memories full of s'mores and pjs all day and canoes. It is a magical place where board games were never bored games and where tie dye was the activity of choice. 

And I want to go back. 

I am afraid, however, that things won't be just "not the same" but will be so painful. I long for simpler times when the biggest disaster was forgetting to buy hamburger buns so I would make hot dog shaped burgers, and we would laugh. 

I wonder if I can ever go back. I wonder if I can stay away.