I cried yesterday. A lot. One of Katie's friends (a boy from here, a friend since early grade school) lit a tree in memory of Katie. I told the story of last Wednesday's "Katie" phone call to my counselor. I heard "I'll Be Home For Christmas" at the grocery store this morning. I missed her particularly keenly today while sitting on the couch.
I'm crying now. Blogging about how I've cried.
I feel like I've fallen back into the depths of grief.
Someone explained grief like trying to make it around a giant slippery pit. (The Pit of Despair, if you will.) The edges are steep and slippery and you have to carefully edge around to the other side. Some days you slip at the very beginning. Some days you make it almost all the way around only to slip in almost at the end.
One misstep. One second lacking focus. Or sometimes no reason at all. And I'm back down in the grief. Unable to do anything but try again the next day.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe next week.
Maybe.
Sweet Shannon!! Cry as you need and don't worry about us! We can handle it, we love you, we are your friends!
ReplyDeleteThat's what we're here for, you know. Don't hold back. And never apologize.
ReplyDelete