Under cover

Seriously, I am under the covers. Working from home. Taking a lunch break. Had to go upstairs. Saw the bed unmade (yeah, call call me a slob).  Crawled in and covered up my head. I am the teensiest bit claustrophobic, so I have to periodically get some fresh air under here, but it's cozy. And it feels safe. It's one of *those* days. 

Damn. Libby turning 14 sucked. She's there, but it was a hard birthday for both of us. Katie was 14. You can't fix that. Turning 15 will be harder. Libby was never supposed to be the oldest. I was never meant to have just one living child. We mourn for the loss of Katie, and we mourn for the loss of who we were before. 

But, just as I can't stay under the covers, Libby can't not grow up. She has to get older. She has to grow taller. (She's taller than I am now.) It's how life is supposed to go. 

We are going camping over spring break. Cheap, car camping. Just the two of us. The mountains and then the beach. Smokies and then Gulf Coast. I'm looking forward to running away.