Pain and anger

For those of you worried that I'm not saying what I need to say, you're probably right. 

But I can feel it burning in my belly. 

There is an anger that is starting to catch fire. 

Early on I said that I wanted to throw things--dishes--against the wall and smash them, but I didn't want to clean up my mess. Now I just want to throw things. I don't care about the mess. I just want to throw things and scream. 

It. Isn't. Fair. 

Someone needs to hear me scream. I want whoever caused my baby to die to know how much I hurt. They should have to listen to my screams and crying. They should have to feel my pain when I try to help Libby. They should have to feel how my heart tears when Libby asks me to be careful and not die when I'm going somewhere. 

No one who hasn't done this can know what I feel, but whoever was in charge needs to know how I hurt. 

I want someone to know.